Any film but this: ‘Anyone but You’ is a romcom with no chemistry and no surprises

I didn’t feel a sense of urgency to see Anyone but You during its theatrical run. When it became available to purchase via streamers, I figured what the heck—maybe I’m in the mood for a good “turn your brain off and just watch” romcom.

Well, it doesn’t matter what kind of mood I was in, because the film is so bad. In fact, it made me long for those miserable Matthew McConaughey romcoms. We are talking some lowest-common-denominator, hot-trash-fire shit right here.

Sydney Sweeney and Glen Powell, two admittedly likable stars, pair up for this riff on Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing. They have zero chemistry; the script provides not one legit laugh; and there are no surprises offered up by director Will Gluck (Easy A).

The two have a meet-cute in a coffee shop, and, hey, they really like each other. Then they have a misunderstanding, so now they don’t like each other. Then, by sheer coincidence, their paths cross again, and they wind up at a family wedding where, gosh darn it, they still don’t like each other. But then, through the cunning manipulations of others, they wind up liking each other again.

But wait—there is too much time left in the movie, so they will need to not like each other again and regroup before this thing plays out.

This is paint-by-numbers garbage where you will be able to easily predict what happens next, all while watching two actors who seem completely disengaged.

Still, the movie got an overall warm reception and will probably spawn a sequel, so I’m going to go ahead and forecast that I will be miserable in a movie theater somewhere about two years from now.

Anyone but You is now playing in some local theaters, and is available for purchase via streaming services.

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